I’ve had some “woe-is-me” kind of days lately and I don’t like them.  Thankfully these self-centered, uncomfortable feelings don’t last long, because in my heart, I know that I am abundantly blessed.  I’m truly aware that my life could be so very different, and much worse.   So, I’m not ungrateful; I just momentarily lose my joy from time to time!  Lord, please forgive me and thank YOU for Your care and blessing in so many ways!  Help me remember that you have told us to “Count it all joy when we fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.”  James 1:2-4.

But, speaking as a widow for now more than five years, I still miss my husband a hundred different ways every single day!  For me, the old lyrics of “It’s So Nice to Have a Man Round the House” ring true.  Of course, the lonely days are a given.   But also, having someone to talk to, to help in making decisions and in spending money, all change when you are suddenly alone to navigate through daily living!  Physically maintaining house and yard becomes monumental.  Easy household fixes that most men can manage, leave me clueless and dependent on willing and handy friends.

The past few weeks have been rough, as all of this has seemed bigger than life itself.  About two months ago, I suddenly lost the sight in my right eye.  The doctors tell me it is a permanent thing, and I am learning to cope, but eyesight is a wonderful thing!  Thankfully, I can still see well enough to drive (and it’s legal to drive with one eye in Ohio), but it’s a strange new thing and my eyesight is now limited!  It’s sort of like having a sheer scarf over my head all the time.  In addition, now my contacts need to be tweaked, and I need stronger reading glasses, as well as new regular glasses when I don’t wear my contacts.  That has involved multiple appointments with a new optometrist and several specialty ophthalmologists, all at new, unfamiliar places.  Thank you, friends, who have graciously driven me to some of these appointments.

My internet and cable bills have seemed overly expensive, so I recently decided to switch carriers.  When, out of necessity, a new line had to be installed in my yard and configurations changed; when I had two technicians in and out of my house on different days; when my new phone was unfamiliar; when my passwords had to be updated (and remembered); when I had to talk with people that barely speak English and who ask me questions to which I don’t really know how to answer… then, I doubted my decision to switch.  I was comforted by the cute young man who clicked away on my new phone to set up the new features, and who said more than once, “I got you!”

There are many ways my friends and neighbors have comforted me and shown concern for me in the past months and years.  I’m grateful for each one.

I could relate other difficult times that have happened to me lately, but I know my stories are not unique.  We all go through these kinds of things.  Life can be burdensome and heartbreaking.  I was outside this afternoon when I heard the organist at the Central College Presbyterian Church playing “Come Ye Thankful People Come”.  Those lyrics are such a good reminder: “God, our Maker, doth provide for our wants to be supplied. Come to God’s own temple, come; Raise the song of harvest home.”  God allows these niggly trials to come so that we can learn to trust Him even when nothing makes sense.  He asks us to put our faith completely in Him when the pain is the worst,

Mary Southerland said when God pushes us to the edge, we must trust Him fully.  Only two things can happen.  God will either “catch you when you fall, or He will teach you how to fly.  Either way, God’s got you!  Now that is true comfort!

I want to share a touching and precious story with you.  It is about a pregnant dog who was in a tragic accident that severely injured her two rear legs.  Her owner immediately took her to the vet for care and examination.  When the exam was complete, the veterinarian told the owner that he could either euthanize her or remove her legs.  The owner replied, “Let her live”.  It wasn’t long before the pregnant dog had learned to scoot around on her own by pulling her body forward with her two front legs, dragging her rear legs behind.

A few days later, the pregnant dog gave birth to six healthy puppies.  She was a wonderful mother.  She nursed her babies and tenderly watched out for them.  And then soon, when the babies learned to walk, and though they all had strong, healthy legs…you guessed it!  The puppies modeled their mother’s behavior and scooted around by pulling their bodies forward with their two front legs, dragging their rear legs behind, just like their mama!  Don’t you love it?

This made me think that first, our own children model the behavior they see in us as parents, grandparents, and teachers.  The priorities of the parents and grandparents become the priorities of the child.  Habits and behaviors become the same for the child.  Language is heard and modeled.  What a huge responsibility to model right living to others, not so much through verbal lessons, but even more through example.

Second, how good it is for us, as God’s children, to model our lives after Him!  We have been given instruction in His Word, and through the example of Jesus, on to how to live a life that honors and glorifies God! Everything we need is in His Word.  “There is nothing new under the sun.”  (Ecclesiastes 1:9)   The Bible speaks to moral living, healthful eating, spending our money wisely, taking care of each other, using our time wisely, honoring, and loving God and the people closest to us.  Everything we need to know to live righteously is found in God’s Word, there for us to follow and model.

Lord, help me always be aware that someone is watching my actions and listening to my words.  Let me glorify you in these areas of my life.

Dear Frank. Today is yet another anniversary of living without you and remembering what used to be.  It’s been 5 years since you suddenly died in 2018.  That’s 60 months, 1800 days, 43,200 hours, 2,592,000 minutes, and 155,520,000 seconds of being alone, but who’s counting?  Some days, it seems strange that I still must stop and consider if you are really gone.  I might think briefly that you got up before me, or that that you’ll be coming back home soon.  Recently, I had a dental procedure when I thought for a moment that you would drive me.  I have a test with a gastroenterologist this month and I’ll need someone to bring me home; something that you would do.  Every day, there are things that need to be accomplished, but I am unable to do it myself.  The racoon has been climbing the pole to the birdfeeder at night and tearing apart the feeders.  I searched all over for the missing grate to the suet feeder that was in pieces before I found it.  Then I couldn’t reach high enough to reposition the hanger on the pole without finding a stepstool.  I bought just a few bags of mulch to place around the edges of the flower beds, but I had to leave them in the trunk of the car until I could get some help to unload them.  I miss you when I must take both garbage cans out to the end of our long, long driveway.  I miss you for these kinds of things but for so many other reasons, too.  I miss you when I must make decisions about things I’ve never experienced.  Nissan called recently and wants me to trade in the Altima, but I barely have it broken in and I love it, so I’m not doing that!  I miss discussing news events or talking about Sunday sermons; I miss your encouragement and support in my Mary Kay business.  I miss you when I’m not invited to do things that are geared for “couples”.  I just miss your companionship and your love!

I know you are in a better place and that I will see you again one day when Christ returns to claim His church, but the earthly part of my being just longs for your physical touch.  I’m asking God to “Teach me to number my days – that I might have a heart of wisdom”.  (Psalm 90:12) I want to be aware of the time I have each day to serve and honor the Lord to the best of my ability and in the time that I still have left on this earth.  I want to finish well.  Thank you, Frank, for the godly influence you had on me and for your precious, sweet love.

Tom and Pam stopped by this afternoon with a Frosty for each of us and one extra, for you, now in the freezer.  We all miss you! Love, Pam

Today is St Patrick’s Day.  Many people consider today to be especially “lucky”.  In fact, many go through life thinking they are the recipients of lucky things and events.  They will say things like, “I was sure lucky that I didn’t have an accident.”; “I was really lucky that I didn’t get sick!”; “I am so lucky to have such a great family.”  Personally, I rarely use the word lucky.   In fact, when my first husband, whose birthday was March 17^th, left me for another woman, I felt anything but lucky!  Instead, I use the word “blessing” when I describe events in my life.

I feel blessed to have a loving family, healthy and talented grandchildren, a wonderful son and daughter-in-law, many precious friendships, a safe and comfortable place to live, a nice car to drive, plenty of activities to keep me busy and productive and a sweet doggie furbaby and so much more.  I am blessed to have been raised and loved by godly parents.  I am blessed to a part of a Bible-teaching church.  I am blessed with reasonably good health and the ability to live independently, even as I advance in years.  God has been incredibly good to me!

I am blessed to be a Christian, with God’s Spirit living within me and guiding me each day.  Among my devotional reading this morning in “60 Days of Prayer”, there is an excerpt from Lorica of Saint Patrick which resonates with me:

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me,
I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of creation.

Today, dear reader, I pray that you will be blessed by the love of God, who watches over us all.

Like many of you, I am known by many titles.  I am pleased to be a mother, a mother-in-law, a sister, a sister-in-law, a grandma, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, a neighbor, a beauty consultant, a team leader, a retired teacher, a homeowner, a gardener, a writer, an author, a doggie-mom, and a church member.   I am also a widow.  These titles characterize who I am, and they define me.  Most of all, however, I am a Christian and this is the title of which I am most proud.  I have chosen to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord, and Savior and to live for Him each day.  I represent Him in all these other areas of my life.  I am certainly not perfect.  I have insecurities and flaws.  I make mistakes.  I have fears of the unknown days ahead in my life, but praise God, these do not hinder my relationship with Him.  Jesus came to earth to make a way for each one who desires and accepts Him to be in a right and obedient relationship with Him.  “For here is the way God loved the world – He gave His only, unique Son as a gift.  So now everyone who believes in Him will never perish but experience everlasting life”.  John 3:16. (from the Passion translation) Jesus is a forgiving God and He is willing to treat me as righteous, and even holy, if I seek Him with my whole heart.  He takes my sins and forgets them, removing them as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12) I can live in confidence that one day, when Christ returns for His church, I will be included with those that He takes heavenward.  What a day that will be!!  Who I am is significant, but WHOSE I am brings me joy!  Dear reader, how about you?

I recently read what Dolly Parton once said when someone commented that she always looks good with her makeup and hair at its best every day.  She replied, “Yes, I always want to be ‘Ambulance Ready’”!  She went on to explain that she always wants to look good, just in case she is in an accident or there is an emergency of some kind.  It is funny because I have had similar thoughts.  I rarely leave home unless I have my makeup on, my hair combed, and I’m wearing something that looks presentable.  In fact, I’ve changed plans to make a quick run to the grocery store if I feel too tired or sick to clean up a bit.  This may sound excessive-compulsive and/or prideful, but you know what they say – “If you go out looking good, you don’t see anyone you know; but if you go out looking like a slob, it will be a veritable reunion!”  The whole point is to be ready for the unknown when it is possible, and personably, I just want to look the best that I can.

Granted, there are many things for which we cannot plan, and it doesn’t matter how we look or what we are wearing.  Our family and friends love us just as we are, and anyone else doesn’t matter.  My dad would say, “I used to worry about what people thought of me, and then I realized they seldom did!”  That is the truth!  Dolly and I need to be more concerned about things that matter, and honestly, I am.

The most important event on my list is something for which I am already prepared; the day that Christ returns to take His children to Heaven. That day is unknown, but Luke 12:40 says, “You also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him”.  We don’t know the exact date of Christ’s return but there are increased signs that it could be soon.  I Corinthians 15:51 says, “Listen, I tell you a mystery; We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed.  In a flash, in the twinkling of an eye at the last trumpet.  For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed”.  I love to look at the eastern sky, when the white clouds are full and fluffy and think, ‘Will today the day when Jesus will come?’  I’m ready, and I pray, dear reader, that you have given your life to the Lord; living for Him, and waiting for His return, as well.

I love the lyrics to the song, MIDNIGHT CRY, by Jason Crabb

“I hear the sound of a mighty rushing wind
And it’s closer now than it’s ever been
I can almost hear the trumpet as Gabriel sounds the chord
At the midnight cry we’ll be going home.

I look around me, I see prophecies fulfilling
And the signs of the times, they’re appearing everywhere
I can almost hear my Father, as He say, “Son, go get my children”
Oh yeah, at the midnight cry, the bride of Christ will rise.

When Jesus steps out on a cloud to call His children
The dead in Christ shall rise to meet Him in the air
And then those that remain will be quickly changed
At the midnight cry when Jesus comes again.

And then those that remain will be quickly changed
At the midnight cry, oh yes, at the midnight cry, yes
At the midnight cry when Jesus comes again
Jesus comes again.”

I love the beautiful orange and black monarch butterflies!  Sadly, they are now close to extinction in North America, most likely because they feed on milkweed plants which are now also hard to find, but when I taught third grade years ago, this was my first science lesson, and one of my favorites.

I would drive on country roads looking for milkweed plants and was usually able to find at least two or three black, white and yellow caterpillars feeding on the underside of the tender milkweed leaves.  They’d be any size from so teeny to the nearly mature size of almost two inches.  I’d gather some leaves to keep fresh in a jar to satisfy the voracious appetite of the caterpillars which ate nearly non-stop for a day or two.  Then a caterpillar would stop eating and crawl to the lid of the jar, or to a stick inside and attach himself to it.  (One year a caterpillar escaped from the jar and this attachment happened on the side of my classroom filing cabinet!)  Once attached, the caterpillar drops down into the shape of a “J”.  A few hours later, the mysterious transformation from crawling creature to beautiful butterfly will progress.  Through tremendous struggle – twisting, turning and swinging until you wonder if the tiny attachment can hold firm – the caterpillar splits its skin and forms a lovely pale green chrysalis, a tiny bag with gold dots, perfect in detail.  Only a small discarded heap remains of the caterpillar’s old skin.  Then the waiting and growth begins to take place.  Through a process that only God knows, a marvelous change happens.  In about ten days, the faint outline of the black and orange wings can be seen through the chrysalis.  Soon after, the chrysalis breaks open and a butterfly emerges!  It hangs still on the empty chrysalis for a time, drying its wings, and then spreads them apart ready to fly.  Sometimes the new butterfly would step onto my finger before flying away!

How can all this be?  How can such a transformation be possible  – a change from lowly caterpillar to beautiful butterfly?  How marvelous are the ways of our God!  In His infinite wisdom, He is able to do all things and in His omnipotence, He is able to transform even His children into so much more!  As men and women living without God, we resemble the caterpillar.  Satisfying our own human desires, seeking after the things of this world, we only appear to be lovely.  Our existence on this earth is but a “moment” in time, and if the Lord is not part of our life on earth, He cannot be part of our life in Heaven.   “Then He will say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels’” (Matthew 25:41).

But – if we allow God’s Spirit to convict us of our sinful ways, (John 16:8), if we walk in the light as He is in the light (I John 1:7), and if we seek to obey the Lord (Jeremiah 7:23), then our struggles begin to work out God’s perfect will in our lives.  We begin the process of change from something less than lovely to something beautiful and wonderfully made.  Living for the Lord is not easy, and God did not promise that it would be.  He did  promise to be with us though (Matthew  28:20).   He sent His Son, Jesus, as an example for us to follow.  He made it possible through Jesus for us to have access to life eternal.  God loves us so much that He is now preparing a place for us.  One day, (and I believe it will be soon!) Jesus will return to take the faithful ones with Him to that place (John 14:3).  When we claim God as our Father and Jesus as our Savior through confession, repentance and baptism, we begin a new life (Romans 6:4).  We become “new creatures” (II Corinthians 5:17) transformed into His likeness.  Praise God!

Change is difficult for most of us.  We like the security of familiar routine and surroundings.  Often it seems our activities are so programmed that we have no time for anything that is unexpected, but we dare not be guilty of thinking we cannot change.  Through complete submission to the will of God, His Spirit can work a marvelous change in our life.  Even weak-willed, short-tempered, insecure, or self-centered lives can be turned over to the Lord and be made productive, satisfied workers for the kingdom. 

I challenge you to give to God anything in your life that is not in complete accordance with His will.  Allow Him to use you and work through you.  Give God the chance to remake you and then walk in restored fellowship with Him (I John 1:9).  Feel the joy found in changed life.  Let others see it, know of its source, and be blessed.  Be an encouragement to those around you!

Become a butterfly!  “And do not be conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).

Historically speaking, the nation’s first Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910 but not until 1972, when Richard Nixon signed a proclamation, did Father’s Day become a nationwide federal holiday.  Today there are more than 70 million fathers in the United States and economists estimate that Americans spend more than $1 billion each year on Father’s Day gifts!

I hope you are able to honor and cherish the fathers in your life.  They might be biological fathers or adoptive fathers, grandfathers, sons, brothers, uncles, cousins or friends. Today, I’m especially remembering my father, William B. Walker, now residing in Heaven.

My dad, Bill Walker, holds a special place in my heart.  I know that I am truly blessed to have been raised by this godly man.  He was only 19 when I was born, himself a student at the former Cincinnati Bible Seminary, studying for the ministry.  He came from a family of ministers – a great-grandfather, a grandfather, two uncles, and a brother.  He was a man, gifted with words and a charismatic preaching style.  At the age of 30, my dad took his wife and family of four children to Japan to serve as missionaries.  My mother’s brother, Claude Likins, also took his family to serve in Japan at the same time.  The four adults soon enrolled in language school in Tokyo and it wasn’t long before my dad was able to stop using an interpreter and begin to preach in Japanese by himself.  I thought it was amazing that he became fluent enough to preach the Gospel in Japanese, though he joked that the “first 20 years of language study were the hardest”!

I can remember that the first little Japanese church where my Dad preached was within walking distance from our house.  We asked our supporting churches in the states to save and send outdated Sunday school papers to us, so that we could use them as teaching aids.  I was excited to have an English-speaking Bible class myself, at age 12.  My Dad did have a preaching interpreter at this church and one of the first things I learned was to take notes on my Dad’s sermons.  He taught me to listen for the main points of his sermon and write them in a little notepad that I had with my Bible.  I still take notes now when I listen to class material and sermons.

Interestingly, I remember that my Dad taught some important life-lessons.  For example, I learned proper habits of etiquette like “elbows off the table”, “chew with your mouth closed”, “don’t scrape your teeth on the fork”, “wait until everyone is finished before asking to leave the table”.  But most of all, my Dad taught by example how to love and care for others.  I learned about God’s love for me and to have the assurance of salvation.  He taught the meaning of difficult passages of Scripture.  I learned the importance of daily devotional time with the Lord.  My Dad willingly helped with homework and was involved with my school activities, participating in school events where he could chaperon and meet my friends.  When I attended night school at Sophia University years later, my dad would always meet me at the bus stop and walk me back home.  My parents felt that we were personally safe in Tokyo, but it was reassuring to have his company on those late nights in poorly lighted areas.

Back in the states, after my Mother had died of cancer, I became engaged.  My Dad got a laugh from people’s response when he told them that “a young, blonde woman had asked him to marry her”!  It was a thrill to have my Dad, as an ordained minister in the state of Ohio, conduct the ceremony and marry us!  My Dad always supported and encouraged me in the areas of marriage, motherhood, as a teacher and into retirement.  He preached and witnessed to others through the years of his walk with the Lord and until his death, which I was privileged to witness.  I am so thankful for my Dad and the life he lived.  I look forward to the day I’ll see him again!

The lyrics of “Forever Home” say it perfectly:

He always spoke of Heaven like he’d been there before.
          He said it was the one thing that he was living for.
          How bittersweet the moment, the sunset of a life
As we all cried and said our last goodbyes, and watched him take his flight.

          Forever home. Living in the arms of Jesus now
Standing in the shadow of the throne he bows. I can almost see him there.
No more tears, pain has lost its hold on him. He’s more alive than he’s ever been.          He’s arrived, oh, I know.  He’s forever home.

I love watching the old Turner Classic movies.  They appeal to me for the mostly wholesome content that used to be.  A couple of nights ago, I was scrolling through the channels and landed on the movie “Chariots of Fire”, the true story of the Scottish Olympic gold medal runner, Eric Liddell.  I have seen it before; it’s a good one!  The movie actually won four Academy awards, including Best Picture in 1981. 

Liddell was born in 1902 to missionary parents living in China.  He became known as the “Flying Scott” because he won the 400 meter race and the gold medal in the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris.  His Christian faith and testimony were recognized in the movie as he refused to run his best race, the 100 meters race, because it was scheduled for a Sunday, in which he believed to run then was against God’s commandment to keep the Sabbath holy.  He refused to compromise.

I love the quotation by Eric Liddell in the movie, “God made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.”  After researching this, however, I discovered that Eric was fast and he did run for God’s glory, but he actually did not say those words.  Apparently, what Eric did say more than once was that “God made me for China”.  China was always on Eric’s heart and he often shared Biblical and evangelistic messages, both as a friend and a preacher.  After the Olympic Games, he made preparation to return to China, where he lived with his wife and three daughters until China became occupied by the Japanese during WW II.  His family safely escaped to Canada but Liddell was forced into a concentration camp where he died shortly before the end of the war.

I have read that Liddell became a moral and spiritual leader even within the camp of unspeakable horrors.  Sadly, he died suddenly and unexpectedly of a brain tumor in the Weixian Internment Camp on February 21, 1945.  Liddell desperately wanted the Chinese to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ and to believe in Him.  Eric Liddell’s life’s desire was to know God more deeply and to share that belief with others.  The movie, “Chariots of Fire” ended with the words “Eric Liddell, missionary, died in occupied China at the end of WW II.  All of Scotland mourned”.

“I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end?  From within. Jesus said, ‘Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me.’ If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.” ~ Eric Liddell

“Many of us are missing something in life because we are after the second best, I put before you what I have found to be the best – one who is worthy of all our devotion – Jesus Christ. He is the Saviour for the young and the old. Lord, here I am.” ~ Eric Liddell

“Victory over all the circumstances of life comes not by might, nor by power, but by a practical confidence in God and by allowing His Spirit to dwell in our hearts and control our actions and emotions. Learn in the days of ease and comfort, to think in terms of prayer that follows, so that when the days of hardship come you will be fully prepared and equipped to meet them.” ~ Eric Liddell

What message is here for us in this story of Eric Liddell?  First of all, though Eric Liddell is remembered as an Olympian runner, I believe that he knew the “race of life” is the one of most importance.  He held his Christian belief firmly and was willing to sacrifice the glory of the games, if necessary.  He finished life’s race well – through great physical trial; I can’t imagine what he must have endured!

What parts of our lives give God “pleasure”?   Are we known for living for the Lord with uncompromising conviction?   Are we faithful even under great hardship?  I want to say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight.  I have finished the race.  I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing”.  (II Timothy 4:7)  That will be my “gold medal”!